Tuesday, 12 November 2013


Another fresh start. I already lost count on how many times I tried to organize my life and set a schedule of my activities in order to avoid wasting  my time in front of the computer but failed constantly in my attempt to be productive.
I just want to remind myself that December is fast approaching and I haven't done anything to make this year a memorable one. Just another normal boring year for me.
Well, it wasn't totally boring because I've discovered a lot of interesting hobbies lately, including watching Fliptop and new social networking sites that will steal my time away from facebook, my best friend for the past four years.

2013 highlights
* Got the courage to stand up for my own rights. Hihihi! (I'll keep this one a secret)
* Barista Training ( It was memorable and fun)
* Started watching anime again. I'm currently watching One Piece and Sword Art Online.
*I got addicted to Fliptop
*Happy 20th Anniversary El Shaddai
* Found my first regular job
* Found this really cool site called Gaia Online. It won't be long till I say goodbye to Facebook. Google plus is quite cool too.

This post is so random I have no idea what made me write this crap.

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Legend of The Guardians

This is a story of a young owl, Soren who was taken to a canyon land together with other young owls to be treated as slaves. His brother Kludd, who was captured with him was trained to become a soldier of the pure ones, a group of evil owl rebellion. With the help of Grimble, one of Soren's captor, who was secretly disloyal to the queen, Soren managed to escape with Gylfie. Grimble sacrificed his life for the young ones to escape and begin their search for the great tree of Ga'hoole and warn the guardians about the plan of the pure ones.

The love for power is the obvious reason why Kludd did not hesitate to betray his brother in order to win the affection of the Queen. I somehow understand Kludd's jealousy over Soren. But in a deeper sense, I think Kludd just needed praise and recognition. It is difficult to be compared to someone else, especially to your brother and although there was no real competition, Kludd's determination to surpass Soren's ability to fly and his longing to  gain recognition motivated him to stand by the evil force. Parents should be sensitive when giving criticism as well as praise to their kids as it may lead to jealousy and rivalry among siblings. All children should be encourage to do their best regardless of their abilities. 

Sunday, 20 January 2013

Goodbye, Summer

“In every girls life; there’s a boy she’ll never forget and a summer where it all began.” — Unknown
A story of a girl and her secret summer crush.

When I heard that multiply is closing down, I was so sad as I used to write my thoughts there. I was hoping that after some years, I will be seeing those notes again and remember the memories shared by them.I realized that there is no permanent space to share your feeling and thoughts. So I wanted to share this now, I know facebook is not forever but our heart never forgets. And perhaps, if he gets the chance to read this, he will know that he made someone happy and change someone's life just by simply existing.

My experience this summer made me realize that holding on to the idea of first love is stupid.I realized that I can love my second, third and even the 400th guy who will come in my life more than how much I loved the first one. You can control your tears from falling when you're hurt. You can limit yourself on giving everything to that relationship, you can avoid trusting someone too much but one thing is sure, you can never prevent yourself from falling in love again.

My friend thinks I'm desperate for knowing your birthday, the day the first time I saw you, the day you arrived at the staff house, your room number and the day we went out with our friends. But there are things that they don't understand. I felt inspired again after a very long time. I know my friends will never understand me and the way I'm still thinking about you even though you're a hundred miles away and it's been a month since the last time I saw you. My friends will never know how I feel. I may say a hundreds names of guys but no one knows who really holds my heart.

I know you're different, even if I met you in a world where it's difficult to find someone with an interesting character. I told myself that I will never like a guy who's wearing a business suit. But I know behind that smart look, you're an affectionate, down to earth person.

I remember how you can turn a serious conversation in a funny one without effort.

I remember the first time you said 'hi' and I was surprised when you smiled at me and I was so nervous I couldn't smile back. I bet you thought I was being rude.

I remember myself laughing and jumping on top of my bed as I got home,waking up the people living next door. I remember how my friends were laughing at me for being nervous to talk to you. They were forcing me to ask you out on a date but I think asking a guy out is a desperate act so I keep telling them the stupid reason that true love can wait. But the truth is, I was too nervous to talk to you and I don't want you to get the wrong impression as I thought you were a serious, conservative guy.

I remember the times when my friends and I were planning in my room on how am I going to ask you out. They asked me to knock in your room and just start a random conversation. I can still remember suggesting some stupid ways to talk to you.

1. Bring the bible, knock in your room and ask ''Do you want to hear the good news of the Lord?.''

2. Be straight forward and just ask, ''Hey, do you want to go out with me?''

3. Make a cheese toast and coffee, knock in your room and say, ''Room Service.''

4. Wait for my birthday and invite you to attend or knock in your room after the party and offer you some leftover food.

I can still remember the first time we went for swimming with our friends and our night outs together. Those were just borrowed times for we never actually had the chance to get to know each other. We always go out with other people and even the time when we were left alone, we never talked to each other. I did not want to be the first one to start the conversation and I guess you were thinking the same thing so the summer ended without us having a proper conversation.

Actually, we did. But it was not the kind of conversation that I was dreaming of. It happened at the office of the manager and I was so nervous I could not look at you properly. I was trying hard not to smile and keep telling myself to be professional but I could not help not to smile as I saw you smiling. I even wanted to laugh when I asked you about the location of the device being used to program the television channels and you answered me with '' I DON'T KNOW. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THAT THING EXIST.''

I remember how disappointed I was when I found out that I was wrong about my first impression of you. You were not the serious, conservative guy that I thought you were. But it did not make me like you less. Even though I keep telling my friends that I don't like you anymore and that you were not my ideal guy, deep inside, I regret that I did not get the chance to be close to you.

I remember the day you left. I saw her giving back her uniform and I knew that you were leaving together so I decided that I'm going to swallow my pride and talk to you for the last time and say goodbye.

I remember how sad I was, staring at your empty room, wondering what would have happened if I come earlier and see you before you left.
Staying in that place without you was a blur. I thought I would never get over that sadness. But surprisingly, although I was sad, I did not cry even if I wanted to. Because all I could think about were the happy memories. The way you inspired me that I learned to love my work. I wanted to be successful someday so that I can be good enough for you. I wanted to create a good reputation in the job so that I can go back again next summer.

I cared about what people will think if I ask you out or started flirting with you so I waited for you to talk to me instead of making the first move. I used to do stupid things before but not because I did not do stupid things this time, it means I don't have the same feelings for you. I love you more than I loved anyone.

But I'm more responsible now. I need to think of my parents, my studies, my job and my future. I know I'm not the only one who's going to suffer if I make another mistake. I did not cry for you as I cried before, but I'm sad and hurt, more than I was hurt before. But I will never cry for you, because I know it's not yet the end. Someday, we will see each other again, and to hell with my pride, I'm going to compete with other bitches to win your attention. Just kidding. Maybe when we see each other, I probably have summoned all the courage I need to say hello.

Thank you for being my inspiration. I know my life will never be the same again. Because of you, I started believing in myself again. You inspired me to achieve great things, stand for myself and follow what is best for everyone. This experience gave me a sense of maturity and while giving importance to my studies and work, I learned how to take a break and enjoy life. You made me realize that love is enough reason to be happy. And someday if I fall in love again, I'm going to remember you to be reminded how a guy as smart as you can give up everything for love. I know you made the right decision and maybe, I'm not good enough for you. I admire you for putting love as your priority more than work and I wish I have the courage to do the same. But although I may sound like a workaholic, cold-hearted, egoistic person, I know I did the right thing too. To concentrate in my work first and leave love on its own time. I can be the most stupid person you've ever seen and do stupid things in the name of love. But for me, love is not about doing stupid things for someone. It's about doing great things. Because everybody can do stupid things, you don't have to be in love to do stupid things. But it takes love, inspiration and a strong desire to please someone for you to achieve great things. And I want you to remember me, not as someone who did stupid things for you, but as the girl who tried to be the right person for you and love you in her own little ways.

There is a time for everything, and maybe it was not our time yet. But I will never forget that place and the summer when I met you. And even if our time will never come, I will always be thankful that you passed by in my life. Even if you don't feel the same way, you will always be in my heart.

A lot of guys can impress you with their romantic gestures and thoughtful acts and can attract you with their killer smiles but it will take a special guy to inspire and bring out the best in you.

Saturday, 12 January 2013

I'm Lazy and I Know It

Education is not only a privilege of people with high level of intelligence. Although I agree that intelligent people have more chances to excel and get higher marks, a strong determination with hard work will make our goals possible. It's very easy to say that if you study hard, you're going to get a high mark. But for some people, it's not that simple. How can you learn properly if paying attention has always been a problem?     When you don't have the ability to control your mind to process the information that do not interest you?  But for now, I'm not going to use my condition as an excuse, and blame laziness for my lack of initiative to do something worthwhile. I'm going to adopt a positive attitude and develop the love for learning. I will go back to my old nerdy self, who spends her day reading books and writing stupid stories and poems. And lastly, I'm going to exert effort on my studies (o.o Aww! really?) Laziness, leave me alone :) So today, I downloaded lots of e-books for me to read and started working on my articles that will later on be posted on my helium account. Stay tuned! I hope I can really keep up with my new year's resolution this time.

Monday, 7 January 2013

Horror Cartoon Movies

Whenever I'm in a bad mood, I would open my laptop and search for a nice cartoon movie. It helps me forget my problems and escape reality for a while. I was a little bit surprised and disappointed with two cartoon movies I've seen recently. Perhaps it was my fault that I did not check the plot before I watched these movies but I still believe that these kind of films are not suitable for young audiences.

Well, they're not as scary as a typical horror film I've seen but they are still creepy and I'm sure I won't be able to stand watching these movies if I watch it as a kid. Moral lesson: Try to do a bit of research before watching a movie. It will spoil some scenes but at least you know what to expect.

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Drawing Class 101

  A true artist needs only to please herself. -Sikowitz

 Pirate Ship

 Random girl in magazine

Unfinished sketch of someone I don't know

Friday, 30 November 2012

The Clique

When Massie Block learned that the Lyons are coming to their mansion, she was less than thrilled. First, their arrival ruined her night since she was planning to attend a party with her friends but was forced to stay home and eat dinner with the newly arrived guests. The Lyons were invited by Massie’s parents to stay in their guest’ house while they were looking for a permanent place to live since they just moved from Florida and Claire, the Lyons’ daughter, will be going to the same school with Massie. But Claire Lyons didn’t meet Massie’s approval. She thinks she’s too plain and doesn’t have a good fashion sense. She certainly doesn’t belong to the clique.

At first, Claire tried to fit in her new school by changing the way she dress up. But Massie and her friends, Alicia, Kristen and Dylan, made everything difficult for her. Wanting so much to be ‘one of them’ Claire made a plan to ruin Massie’s relationship with her friends. Soon, Massie’s friends started hanging out with her and ignored Massie completely. But they immediately found out that Claire hacked Massie’s IM account and pretended to be Massie to make her friends mad at her. Alicia, Kristen and Dylan kicked Claire out of the group and started hanging out with Massie again, and of course, Massie treated Claire worse than before. Claire did find a true friend with Lane, who is also being treated as an out cast but didn’t try to change just for people to like her.

In the end, Claire learned that in order to be accepted, you must stay true to yourself and embrace who you are, and Massie realized how quick her friends are willing to trade her for a new pal. She then confessed to Claire that the reason why she was being bitch to her is she is insecure with Claire and sees her as a major threat. She also answered the question her friend asked Claire during a sleep over, ‘would you rather be the friendless loser or have a bunch of friends who secretly hates you?’ Massie said that she’d rather be the friendless loser.

This is a simple yet inspiring story about friendship and being who you are. True friends will always be there for you despite of your imperfections. Don’t waste your time trying to please everybody. Remember that life is not a popularity contest.